Some people think that young people should be required to do unpaid work helping people in the community. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a widespread belief that voluntary community work should be mandatory for young individuals.
Although
Linking Words
charity work does provide some value, I am more convinced that forcing them to take part in these activities is rather unfair.
To begin
Linking Words
with the positives, a crucial advantage of unpaid services is that they inculcate a high sense of responsibility towards the community among teenagers. Indeed, without
involving
Wrong verb form
being involved
show examples
in charitable organizations, they miss the chance to experience and gain insight into the underprivileged in real life.
As a result
Linking Words
, they would not propose adequate solutions to solve these social problems in the future.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a volunteer program is a chance for youngsters to develop various skills, which can be seen as a beneficial asset for their resumes.
For instance
Linking Words
, their communication and teamwork skills can be improved when they collaborate with friends to help the
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
or orphans.
However
Linking Words
, there are still some disadvantages when forcing young people to take part in unpaid jobs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the time devoted to community services can be time-consuming. Undoubtedly, students have to set aside their studying time to join these activities. The second drawback is that if
this
Linking Words
policy is mandatory, it can pose a stressor for the young generation.
Besides
Linking Words
studying, most of them already have multiple responsibilities to tend to, like developing their own project, working part-time, or implementing the activities of their club. Adding public service as an obligation will make them feel being stripped of their freedom.
Then
Linking Words
, the values of voluntary spirit will be lost. In conclusion, despite some benefits in terms of a sense of responsibility and skill development, charity services are still overshadowed by the downside.
Submitted by nguyenhuyena9k18 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more clear and impactful. The main points need to be more elaborated and supported with relevant examples.
task achievement
The response provides a somewhat complete and clear ideas. However, it could be more comprehensive and include more relevant and specific examples to support the key points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: