Some people think that secondary school should add international news as a subject; others think that it is a waste of valuable time. Discuss both views.

School
subjects
are one of the heated topics these days. Some argue that international
news
should be mandatory in secondary education in
school
,
while
others believe that adding that
subject
is not important. The
argument
of adding international
news
as a new
subject
is an
argument
that is
both agreed upon and disagreed with by many.
This
essay will thoroughly analyse and discuss both sides of the
argument
before drawing a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, some people believe that adding international
news
as a
subject
at the secondary level will expand
student
's knowledge globally.
For instance
,
students
will be up to date regarding political
as well as
developmental issues globally. If institutes make international
news
a compulsory
subject
in
school
,
students
will be interested in global matters at an early age.
For
this
reason, adding international
news
as a new
subject
in secondary
school
can be massively beneficial.
On the other hand
, critics argue that adding new
subjects
to
student's
Change noun form
students'
show examples
curriculum
Fix the agreement mistake
curricula
show examples
will create a burden on
student's
Fix the agreement mistake
students'
show examples
studies and mental health.
For example
, recent research has revealed that
students
will benefit from more practical
subjects
such
as research classes rather than international
news
. Secondary education already includes multiple
subjects
like science, maths and history, so , adding another
subject
will create confusion among
students
.
Thus
, adding extra
subjects
is a waste of
student
's valuable time.
To conclude
, the two sides of the
argument
concerning extra
subjects
in
school
have strong arguments.
However
,
it is clear that
adding international
news
as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
new
subject
will expand
student
's global knowledge at an early age.
Submitted by ashmamrzn on

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task achievement
To enhance the argument, providing more specific examples or evidence when discussing the benefits or drawbacks of including international news as a subject could have strengthened the position. For example, citing specific studies or real-world examples could reinforce the points made.
coherence cohesion
While the essay was well-structured, ensure that the transitions between ideas are as smooth as possible for effortless reading. Consider using connecting words like 'furthermore' or 'in addition' for greater flow.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints before reaching a conclusion, which contributes to the overall completeness of the response.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the context of the debate and clearly states what the essay will cover.

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