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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that there should be strict laws to control the amount of noise a person makes because of the disturbance it causes to people. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

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These days, there is a controversy about implementing the
laws
Use synonyms
 limiting the amount of
noise
Use synonyms
. Some people expect many advantages from them.
However
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, I think it has more disadvantages than pros. On the one hand, by imposing those
laws
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, the government will get fewer complaints.
This
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 is because the limitation of
noise
Use synonyms
 makes people concentrate on something, not suffering from distractions.
For example
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, in Korea, there were fruit trucks that
turn
Wrong verb form
turned
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 on a loud radio to advertise themselves in the daytime. Since it disturbed students in studying at school, students complained about it to the city administration. After restricting that activity
by
Add a hyphen
by-laws
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laws
Use synonyms
, they could focus on their classes, and the public servants did not have to deal with those complaints.
Nevertheless
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, the development of countries will be able to be disturbed.
This
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 is because there are some noises that cannot be controlled.
For instance
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, constructing buildings is a compulsory task
to develop
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for developing
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 countries.
However
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, unfortunately, it is difficult to decrease the amount of
noise
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 made by using machines to move or compile materials.
Thus
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, to follow the restrictions, they cannot make advanced ones.
Furthermore
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, the degree of the disturbance people feel by each
noise
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 is too subjective. Even though the
laws
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 limit the level of
noise
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, some individuals can be still distracted. Studies have shown that each participant responded differently to the same level of sounds. In conclusion, it is true that there is a noticeable advantage to the
laws
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.
However
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, the uncertainty of the objective standard and slow development make the cons of the
laws
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overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
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 the pros.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly present the main ideas and thoughts of the essay. This will provide a clear roadmap for the reader and help to tie the essay together.
task achievement
The essay adequately responds to the task, presenting both advantages and disadvantages of implementing laws to control noise. Ensure that the examples provided are relevant and specific to the points being made, and consider using more evidence to strengthen the arguments.
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