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Band 7.5

Everybody should be allowed admission to university study programs regardless of their level of academic ability.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#everybody #admission #university #study #programs #level #ability
In today’s
society
, people’s perspectives on education have shown significant divergence. Some argue that allowing everyone to attend college regardless of their academic performance is essential for students. From my perspective, I agree with
this
 viewpoint. There are several indicators that equal access to education brings about numerous benefits. It provides individuals with educational opportunities, even if they do not have excellent academic abilities, which leads to their
overall
 growth. It not only increases their confidence but
also
 fosters significant potential talents, which, in turn, allows them to contribute positively to
society
 through their capabilities and drive progress and innovation in the educational landscape. Even more importantly, some people who perform poorly in academics do so not because they have a lower level of aptitude, but because they have not discovered their potential talents.
Therefore
, allowing them to engage in university can help them gain a deeper understanding of themselves, find goals in their lives, and strive to achieve their achievements.
This
 provides a sense of purpose
as well as
 creates a meaningful life.
However
, it is undeniable that
this
 measure may cause certain concerns,
such
 as when individuals with lower academic abilities experience unhealthy comparisons with their peers.
Nevertheless
, in
such
 cases, it
also
 provides a good opportunity to cultivate their resilience and adaptability, which are pivotal components for
society
 and the job market. In conclusion,
while
 allowing everyone to join universities may present some issues,
this
 measure still provides many positive impacts,
such
 as the development of well-rounded abilities, the improvement of the educational environment, and the enhancement of resilience— all of which pave the way for a better life and
society
.
Submitted by zora840810 on

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task achievement
To enhance your Task Achievement score, consider including more specific examples or case studies to support your points. This will add depth to your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas. This will help your essay read more fluidly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear statement of your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay.
task achievement
Your essay comprehensively addresses the topic and presents a well-rounded view, demonstrating a clear understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic ability
  • admission criteria
  • equal opportunities
  • higher education
  • institutional resources
  • merit-based
  • qualification devaluation
  • under-qualification
  • vocational training
  • inclusive education
  • diversity in academia
  • competitive edge
  • global economy
  • academic standards
  • universal access
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