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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Do you agree or disagree? people spent too much time on personal enjoyment doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do.

#people #time #enjoyment
There is argued that
people
 prefer to consume their time for their own pleasure and tend to do things which they like, but not what they must do. I totally agree with
this
 statement and support the idea that
people
 could and should enjoy their lives.
Firstly
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
computer
 technologies development, our modern world changed and now
people
 absolutely depend on IT technologies. It is commonly observed that young
people
 frequently waste their time on activities like
computer
 games, mobile phones, and social media rather than focusing on their studies, and at first view, it is not a good trend, but there are a lot of examples that prove
otherwise
.
For example
, my close friend preferred to play
computer
 games for a period of his education at university and of course he failed all exams and quit but improved the necessary skills for being a professional
computer
 games player and now he is earning a lot of money and quite happy.
Secondly
, society usually imposes rules of life and fake values on
people
 and manages their lives. It is often when parents know all about the future of their child from his birth, and prepare him to be a lawyer,
for example
. Sometimes
this
 reality can match with own wishes of a person and in
this
 case society and the individual win, but sometimes it can make the life of a person unhappy. A great example is Adolf Hitler, who wanted to be an artist, but under societal pressure and the necessity to serve in the military become one of the most famous dictators in the world.
Overall
, I strongly believe
that is
 no need to do things you don't like to do, much better to find a
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 occupation and succeed in that. No reason to think
that is
 possible for a person to waste time when they do their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
.
Submitted by lmlalp on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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