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Band 6

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #space #exploration #waste #governments #benefit #nation
Nowadays,
space
 studying
issues
 have been the focus of attention around the world. I personally believe that
governments
 should spend
money
 on both
space
exploration
 and solving other public important
issues
 because they are beneficial to human life. There are a number of strong arguments to support the idea that
governments
 should spend
money
 on
space
 studying. First of all,
space
exploration
 is good for technology development.
For instance
,
governments
 investing
money
 in satellite research is not only good for the nation but
also
 makes our lives easier,
such
 as GPS. When we go to other countries or cities, we are not familiar with the streets and where should we be going. We always open Google Maps to find the locations or buildings.
Secondly
,
space
exploration
 is not only good for technology but
also
 for the economy.
Space
 studying is an important symbol for countries’ economic development.
Consequently
,
governments
 should invest
money
 in
space
.
On the other hand
, there are more important reasons to agree with the idea that
governments
 should use
this
money
 to solve public important
issues
,
such
 as environmental
issues
, public transportation, education and so on.
Governments
 invest
money
 for these problems can directly affect our lives and make our lives simpler.
For example
,
governments
 spend
money
 on free public transportation. It is good for the environment
in addition
 to easing traffic pressure.
As a result
,
governments
 should spend
money
 on other things to benefit the nation. In conclusion,
space
exploration
 has long-term benefits
furthermore
 so the government should pay some costs in
this
 area. At the same time, the government should
also
 pay attention to people's livelihood
issues
.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Consider offering a more balanced view or deeper insight into how spending on space exploration and other issues could be optimized. This could involve discussing the potential for investments in space exploration to have indirect benefits for the issues you mention, such as environmental monitoring.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, continue to organize your essay with clear paragraphs for each main idea, but aim to improve transitions between them for a smoother flow. Use a variety of linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Also, consider developing your conclusion further by summarizing your arguments more comprehensively and stating a clear, personal stance on the issue.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
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