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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that education in certain countries do not cater to the economic needs of society. What are the drawbacks of this education system and mention some solutions.

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In
this
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 contemporary epoch, education in various regions of the world finds it difficult to cope with economical demands. The following essay will look into the disadvantages of
this
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 system as well suggesting practical solutions . First and foremost, an archaic teaching system is one of the relevant causes. In fact, many nations today, still rely on old educational programs where teachers use teaching techniques that are now considered obsolete.
For instance
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, rote learning compared to independent research and synthesizing skills does not fully exploit the potential of students.
Moreover
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, a lot of important subjects like country finance are not taught early on in the classrooms which can be very helpful to the country later on.
On the other hand
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, in order to improve the situation, these countries should invest wisely so they can reshape their educational curriculum. to elaborate, developing entrepreneurship skill need to be an essential part of the syllabus
along with
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 the establishment of problem-solving projects which will help push students to think more maturely. To exemplify, many surveys conducted in the past analyzed the possible correlation between economic-related subjects taught in a specific classroom and the
overall
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 student contribution to the economy, surprisingly, it turns out that researchers found a strong relationship.
Therefore
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, politicians and activists should dig deeper into the matter in order to achieve change.
To sum up
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, the current economic needs are mainly
due to
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 the lack of efficiency of the educational system,
nevertheless
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, investing to restructure and update the whole curriculum is one of the best available options.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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