IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people claim that too much focus and resources have been spent to protect wild animals and birds. Do you agree and disagree to this .

#people #focus #resources #animals #birds
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A segment of society affirmation that it is not worth it to invest funds and to be attentive towards flora and fauna.
However
, others, including me, advocate
this
 notion.
This
 essay will discuss both viewpoints in upcoming fragments. To commence with, there are a plethora of reasons to protect
animals
as well as
 trees. First and foremost some species have vanished.
Animals
 work as a food chain.
Due to
 ,extinction probably food chain has been affected.
Besides
this
, they protect the environment
as well as
 human health.
For instance
, if fish is killed for water religious reasons
then
 mosquitoes would spread yellow fever. Moving forward, people and the government should invest in the preservation of wild
animals
.They are a source of entertainment,people spend quality time staying away from electronic gadgets. The future generation will come to know about these species which are almost disappeared stage.So, protect them with the help of reforestation.
Moreover
, Baird and wild
animals
 contributed to economic growth. To illustrate, many Saudi families spend around 400 rials on zoo tickets per month for entertainment places.
In other words
, focusing on zoo and jungle development assists attracting tourists and citizens to visit.
Hence
, spending sufficient money and energy to conserve wild
animals
 positively affects the economic sector.
On the other hand
, few folks believe they are wasting money to save
animals
 because some regions do have not enough income sources. They are pre-planned to invest money in education, and other country development.
This
 is a reason they are not focused on other environmental things. In the epilogue,it is discerned that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 other factors are important but we cannot ignore
animals
 and plants which are going to disappear.It is our duty to save the environment for future generations and our well-being.
Submitted by amandeepmanngat93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wildlife conservation
  • ecosystem preservation
  • sustainable development
  • biodiversity
  • habitat destruction
  • ecological balance
  • ethical responsibility
  • economic benefits
  • endangered species
  • poaching
  • education and awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: