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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that children should be taught at school to recycle material and avoid waste. Other believe that should be taught at home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It's argued that
parents
Use synonyms
 should familiarise their
children
Use synonyms
 with the importance of recycling, reducing refuse, and protecting the environment. Many believe that educational institutions are the best places to learn them. I believe that both environments help the child in learning and grooming. On the one hand,
parents
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 serve as role models, and
children
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 are attracted emotionally to their
parents
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.
That is
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 to say that they can guide their kids by telling them about the benefits of recycling.
Furthermore
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, by demonstrating responsible behaviour, elders are instilling good habits in their young.
As a result
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,
children
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 follow their elders and grow up to be better individuals.
For example
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, after eating,
parents
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 should put the recyclable materials in the recycling containers and tell their
children
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 to do the same, which can develop into a good habit.
Therefore
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, I believe that kids are influenced by their
parents
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 the most, and they grow up to imitate most of their elders’ customs.
On the other hand
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,
schools
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 present comprehensive guidance, starting from teachers to educational programs.
This
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 is to say that some teachers have effective personalities and communication skills that can influence students to follow their advice and guidance.
Moreover
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,
schools
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 have diverse education, visual photos, videos, and stories that explain the significance of recycling. Thereby,
children
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 will get to learn in a variety of ways, leading them to apply what they learned. To illustrate, research shows that teaching
children
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 about recycling in school increases their environmental awareness and encourages sustainable behaviours.
Thus
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, I think that
schools
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 are a suitable place to educate
children
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 about recycling and many other things. In conclusion,
although
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parents
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 are the main source of influence when it comes to teaching
children
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 something, I believe that
schools
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 are
also
Linking Words
 successful at doing that because they have professional methods and influential teachers.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically to the next. Enhance transitions between ideas to improve overall coherence.
task achievement
Expand on some points with deeper explanations or additional examples to add depth to the discussion and strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You addressed both views and provided your own opinion, fulfilling the requirements of the task.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support your points, such as the example of parents demonstrating recycling behavior.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured environment
  • resources and expertise
  • comprehensive programs
  • direct influence
  • personalized learning
  • practical implementation
  • reinforcing the lesson
  • collaborative effort
  • maximize the impact
  • foundation
  • everyday applications
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