IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people believe that social media sites ( such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society

#people #media #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society
Most
people
 think that social media
for instance
 Instagram or
Facebook
 have had a huge negative effect on individuals
people
 as well society and communities.
However
, I believe that social networks are beneficial for
people
. I agree that
this
 thought. It is
exactly
Add an article
the exactly
show examples
 damaging impact
Change preposition
on
show examples
our health.
To begin
 with, nowadays all
people
 have social media on their mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
. The effect online social network has had on each individual person.
In addition
, some
people
 brought social media all day
such
 as
Facebook
whereas
 before developing new technologies, most
people
 have the option to meet and communicate with someone outside of their immediate circle and community.
Secondly
,
Facebook
also
 has social groups namely, some individuals have a chance to meet and take part in discussions with
people
.
On the other hand
, the effect that
Facebook
 almost all
people
 can only be seen as negative.
Consequently
Add a comma
,Consequently
show examples
 many
people
 within the local community are no longer forming close or supportive relationships.
Furthermore
, society is becoming increasingly. As
people
 spend full time online with
people
 they have never met face to face with
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
, who they were unlikely to ever meet in the future.
To sum up
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social network
part
Add a missing verb
are part
show examples
 of our lives. Because almost all
people
 have kept in touch with every person through online sites. Shortly speaking, some
people
 point out that
this
 site impacts our lives. Local communities should do more to try and involve local
people
 in local activities in order to promote the future of community life
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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