In some countries, small town-centre shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. Do you think the disadvantages of this change outweigh its advantages?

People
often say that building a suburban shopping complex is generally disadvantageous to some extent.
Although
some drawbacks of
such
development could be seen, they are in my view, eclipsed by the considerable drawbacks. The most outstanding disadvantage of shopping centres established in the surrounding areas of cities is that
city
centres will record a reduction in trade.
This
is because stores and supermarkets of suburban shopping
complexes
will attract a large number of customers who prefer going to places where various types of goods and
services
are available.
Instead
, stores in the centre of the
city
will lose their customers because they sell goods and provide
services
separately, unconnectedly, and not gathered in the same place to facilitate
people
's movement.
Nevertheless
, I think
this
is the only shortcoming when a shopping complex is erected
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the outskirts because
such
development will make a shift towards other forms of businesses
such
as lodging, restaurants and so on. There are several advantages worthy to notice when deploying
this
type of shopping facility.
Firstly
,
people
have a better chance to experience shopping and relaxing at once. Obviously, shopping
complexes
are commonly designed as a stratified structure with each
floor
being served for a specific function.
For example
, a typical shopping complex has a ground
floor
for selling cooking ingredients, a second
floor
for selling household commodities, a third
floor
for displaying fashion and the top one for restaurants,
cafeteria
Fix the agreement mistake
cafeterias
show examples
and recreational
services
, which means customers can enjoy recreational
services
after shopping time.
Secondly
, relocating shopping
complexes
in suburbs means that the land fund of a
city
is used rationally. Areas within the
city
can
then
be used to meet more urgent demands of residents like working, education, and healthcare.
As a result
, hospitals, schools, and working offices are constructed inside the
city
so that
people
can easily move and save time to reach these locations. In conclusion, the development of out-of-town shopping
complexes
has benefits deserving to be considered than its insignificant detriments.
Submitted by ymohuynh15pharm on

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task response
Your essay provides a good response to the task, addressing both advantages and disadvantages. However, to improve, consider explicitly weighing the disadvantages against the advantages in more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay's logical structure is generally clear, but some transitions between ideas can be more fluid. For better cohesion, use a variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow.
task response
While your main points are relevant and supported with examples, some examples can be more specific. For instance, you could mention specific types of out-of-town stores or real-world examples to make your argument more persuasive.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-constructed, setting up the essay and summarizing your points effectively.
logical structure
You provide a clear and logical structure in your essay, making it easy to follow your arguments.
supported main points
Your main points are supported with relevant specific examples, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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