Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, many
food
and drink are still having sugar
as their major ingredient which have
many negative effects on our health. Some people propose that Change the verb form
has
price
of the products with Correct article usage
the price
sugar
should be increased to a high level in order to limit people’s purchase of them. I disagree with this
argument, and the analyzing
of its bad impacts on the Replace the word
analysis
market
order and the prediction of under-expected outcoming will prove this
.
Firstly
, improving goods’ price
without relevant economic reasons will cause Fix the agreement mistake
prices
the
disorder Correct article usage
apply
of
our Change preposition
in
market
. As we all know, sugar
which is a basic material,
has a very low cost in the Remove the comma
apply
market
. If the sellers are enforced by the government to add the price
straightly without new added value, their business will be very poor. And some people purchase these
Change the determiner
this food
food
not because that
they like to eat Correct word choice
apply
sugar
but they
just can afford Correct word choice
because they
these low-
Change the determiner
this low-price food
price
food
. So increasing the prices
blindly will have a very negative effect both on our economy and society. However
, if we improve prices
by adding more expensive ingredients or alter
the low-value material with more valuable ones, the customers will more likely to accept these Wrong verb form
altering
price
changes. Therefore
, improving prices
without rational reasons will not work well for the market
.
Secondly
, just increasing the prices
of food
with sugar
cannot solve our fundamental problem. For instance
, many people won’t be stopped to buy food
with sugar
just because of the increased price
. What’s more, if they want to eat food
with sugar
, like cakes and bread. They can purchase sugar
and cook at home with a download instruction paper from the internet. We need to change people’s awareness of eating healthy, doing exercise to keeping fit by the publicity of mass media. Therefore
, improving prices
cannot decrease the consumption of sugar
Replace the word
sugary
food
in a good way.
In conclusion, increasing prices
of food
and drink with sugar
blindly will have an adverse impact on our market
and definitely cannot reach our initial expectation
. We need to adopt other approaches like increasing the popularity of health Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
idea
and cultivating people’s good eating Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
habit
to lower the bad impacts Fix the agreement mistake
habits
from
unhealthy Change preposition
of
food
.Submitted by 15280151 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite