IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Parents should set punishments in some ways if their children break the law. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#parents #punishments #children #law
It is sometimes argued that offspring should be educated through
punishments
 by their
parents
 in many cases. From my point of view, I believe that punishing children could have good impacts on their behaviour and thinking in the
future
, as I shall explain in more detail throughout the following paragraphs. First and foremost, adults could educate their children in terms of thinking and responsibility through
punishments
. For many
parents
 who have naughty sons or daughters,
punishments
 could be effective methods to teach them to be responsible and the ability to think twice before doing every activity.
Thus
, they could learn how to be accountable and responsible to deal with some detrimental consequences that they have done.
For instance
, to teach a child who has broken a flower vase, some Vietnamese
parents
 ask him to apologize for that vase and think about some consequences that would occur if the vase fell down into his head.
Secondly
,
punishments
 could be a possible solution to decline the criminal rate in society. If
parents
 pay more attention and care to their children, they may avoid becoming crimes in the
future
 by virtue of the supportive education from their
parents
.
Moreover
, they could raise their awareness to not make friends with the bad, who may lead to misbehaviour of the youngster. If they break the rule one time, they may relapse in the near
future
. To avoid
this
, several methods could be used, saying apologies and setting limits for their leisure activities could be practical measures. In conclusion, I concur that punishing offspring as early as possible could bring some benefits
such
 as learning about thinking, and being responsible and a decrease in the criminal ratio in the
future
.
Submitted by thanhvinhdoi338 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: