IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Parents are trying to learn how to take care of their children. Is this essential? Give your opinion on this and illustrate an example.

#parents #care #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children
tutors
 have already become popular nowadays, many
parents
 decide to reach
children
tutors
 when they are were the first
time
 as
parents
. They want to learn how to take care of their
children
 from the
children
's
tutors
. I will argue
this
 topic in
this
 passage.
To begin
 with, many
children
 tutor the experts in their field. They will give some expert opinions and they
also
 have many experiences in rise
children
. They can teach new
parents
 well.
Such
 as what should
children
 eat daily or how to raise
children
's interest in hobbies. That can make kids'
parents
 feel comfortable and have less pressure when they take care of their own
children
 rather than lose their hands. But on the anther side, reaching
children
's
tutors
 is an expensive payment for many normal families. Only a little part of
parents
 who live in urban cities can afford the salary of a
children
's tutor.
That is
also
 the reason why most families prefer to ask the old in their families when they have kids than pay for
children
's
tutors
. 
In addition
, many
parents
 both need to go out to work every day. They don't have enough
time
 on learning new knowledge. And most of them will send their
children
's grandparents. Having
children
tutors
 will waste their money and their valuable
time
. In conclusion, if a new family of threesome want to learn some key points on taking care of
children
, having
children
 tutor will be a nice choice. But if the
parents
 don't have enough spare
time
 and don't have enough money, there is no need to find
children
tutors
.
Submitted by wujingyun843 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: