Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Owing to the exponential development of technology, including smartphones, more and more youngsters nowadays can seamlessly get access to and use them excessively.

This

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essay will first suggest that the primary factors of

this

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issue explain why

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phenomenon is generally a negative development. First and foremost, the main cause of kids dwelling too much on their phones is that designed algorithms control apps like social media or video games.

In other words

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, the app developers are skilled in delivering engrossing content to keep youngsters curious and glued to their phones all the

time

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. On top of that, lack of parental supervision and guidance

also

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contribute to

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phenomenon. Many parents, particularly the young ones, do not have

time

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limitations or internet education and

instead

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rely on digital apps too much to entertain their children. My 5-year-old niece,

for example

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, is inseparable from her smartphone as her parent gave her access to it almost every

time

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, and she will throw

tantrum

Correct article usage

a tantrum

show examples

if she cannot have the phone. On that account,

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phenomenon is viewed as a negative trend

due to

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its detrimental impact on children’s social life. Nowadays, most teenagers have signed up for social media for numerous reasons and they oftentimes find virtual interaction more engrossing than in-person meetings.

As a result

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, these youngsters are too lazy to interact or spend

time

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with people in real life.

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will lead to another consequence where they are lack of vigilance towards possible crimes committed by internet acquaintances.

For instance

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, plenty of fraud and sexual harassment cases are happening in Indonesia after virtual communication through the internet.

To conclude

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, the advent of technology has encouraged children to dwell on their smartphones

due to

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apps that are designed to attract their curiosity and lack of parental direction.

Therefore

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this

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is a negative trend as these kids will face a setback in socializing with people in real life.

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task achievement

Ensure a clear position throughout the response. While the essay presents an opinion, make it consistently clear whether you believe smartphone use among children is mostly positive or negative.

task achievement

Expand on the ideas presented with more specific examples to strengthen arguments and illustrate points more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Aim to use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to create a stronger sense of organization and flow between ideas.

task achievement

In addition to stating negative consequences, explore potential counterarguments or benefits to provide a more balanced view if the question asks for discussion.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structure to reduce repetition and improve syntactic variety, which will enhance the overall readability of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important what are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

It is said that advertisement is not always necessary because consumers anyway buy the product if a product has very good quality.To what extent,do you agree with this statement?