Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Owing to the exponential development of technology, including smartphones, more and more youngsters nowadays can seamlessly get access to and use them excessively.
This
essay will first suggest that the primary factors of this
issue explain why this
phenomenon is generally a negative development.
First and foremost, the main cause of kids dwelling too much on their phones is that designed algorithms control apps like social media or video games. In other words
, the app developers are skilled in delivering engrossing content to keep youngsters curious and glued to their phones all the time
. On top of that, lack of parental supervision and guidance also
contribute to this
phenomenon. Many parents, particularly the young ones, do not have time
limitations or internet education and instead
rely on digital apps too much to entertain their children. My 5-year-old niece, for example
, is inseparable from her smartphone as her parent gave her access to it almost every time
, and she will throw tantrum
if she cannot have the phone.
On that account, Correct article usage
a tantrum
this
phenomenon is viewed as a negative trend due to
its detrimental impact on children’s social life. Nowadays, most teenagers have signed up for social media for numerous reasons and they oftentimes find virtual interaction more engrossing than in-person meetings. As a result
, these youngsters are too lazy to interact or spend time
with people in real life. This
will lead to another consequence where they are lack of vigilance towards possible crimes committed by internet acquaintances. For instance
, plenty of fraud and sexual harassment cases are happening in Indonesia after virtual communication through the internet.
To conclude
, the advent of technology has encouraged children to dwell on their smartphones due to
apps that are designed to attract their curiosity and lack of parental direction. Therefore
, this
is a negative trend as these kids will face a setback in socializing with people in real life.Submitted by 2024successielts on
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task achievement
Ensure a clear position throughout the response. While the essay presents an opinion, make it consistently clear whether you believe smartphone use among children is mostly positive or negative.
task achievement
Expand on the ideas presented with more specific examples to strengthen arguments and illustrate points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Aim to use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to create a stronger sense of organization and flow between ideas.
task achievement
In addition to stating negative consequences, explore potential counterarguments or benefits to provide a more balanced view if the question asks for discussion.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure to reduce repetition and improve syntactic variety, which will enhance the overall readability of the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?