Some people believe that individuals who earn a lot of money are the most successful. Others say that the individuals who contribute to the society (such as scientists or teachers) are the most successful. 🔸Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals suppose that the rich are more successful than others,

while

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another part of our society affirms that intelligent influencers

such

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scientists

Use synonyms

are the most successful.

While

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there are some strong arguments for the second point of view, I believe that a person can become prosperous only by making a fortune. It is undeniable that teachers and

scientists

Use synonyms

are extremely crucial parts of the modern world. When it comes to upbringing new generations or inventing new drugs against cancer, nobody except

scientists

Use synonyms

and teachers can help. Their contribution to the development of our civilization cannot be overestimated.

However

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, all these people cannot be called successful until they can control their own lives.

For example

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, a lot of famous and genius

scientists

Use synonyms

, teachers and artists were repressed in the USSR and they did not have any ability to do anything. They endeavoured to enrich the country and to make it stronger but stupid and rich rulers had another point of view on their future.

On the other hand

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, the rich usually have a lot of power and are used to

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

everything they want. Every person can earn money, even

scientists

Use synonyms

As a consequence

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scientists

Use synonyms

can continue their investigations and sell them, making their own lives easier

due to

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the reason that people with money are more independent.

For example

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, Ilon Mask is one of the greatest

scientists

Use synonyms

of today and

also

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he is the wealthiest one. He can control his own life and he is more successful than others.

To sum up

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, I believe that it always boils down to money,

consequently

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, the rich will always be more powerful and more successful than others.

mgshetlerThu Apr 20 2023

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Some people believe that individuals who earn a lot of money are the most successful. Others say that the individuals who contribute to the society (such as scientists or teachers) are the most successful. 🔸Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, the number of shootings increase becausee many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is more important for school children to learn about their local history rather than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Last month you had a holiday abroad where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter: thank them for the photos and for the holiday explain why you didn’t write earlier invite them to come and stay with you.

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. While other people think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both side and give your opinion

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuess both these views and give your own opinion.