The maps below show the development of a city in HCM in 1995 and now.

The maps below show the development of a city in HCM in 1995 and now.
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The two maps illustrate how one
city
in HCM was developed in two different years. The
city
had a lot of agricultural facilities in 1995.
For example
, there was a big farmland in the northeast and a big fishing port in the south.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
there was a big shopping line near the sea coast, which included a lot of shops and a fish market.
Moreover
, a big forest park can be found almost in the centre of the
city
, just between the farmland and a relaxing part in the southeast, where a cafe and a hotel are located. A big number of living houses are situated in the northwest. During more than 2 decades the
city
became more attractive to tourists. The land for farming and the forest are used as a golf and tennis court today and the fishing port disappeared.
Also
, all shops and the fish market are replaced with new apartments and a restaurant.
Moreover
,
it is clear that
the
city
became bigger
due to
the reason that the number of living buildings in the north-west increased.
Overall
, the
city
in HCM was an agricultural centre but now it became an attraction for tourists.
Submitted by mgshetler on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, moreover".
Vocabulary: Replace the words city with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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