IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: •say why she/he would not enjoy going to college. •explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her •suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

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Dear Peter, I hope you're doing well. I'm really very happy to receive a letter from you after a long period.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it's my pleasure for the suggestion you've asked me about choosing between joining a college or a
job
Use synonyms
. I'm confident to give you the advice of joining a
job
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 immediately considering the situation and scope. Among many notable reasons for my suggestion, I can tell you that, it takes a long time to get a degree from college nowadays.
As a result
Linking Words
, valuable time is wasted.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a college education is less practical-oriented which won't help get a
job
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 early.
Lastly
Linking Words
, bad companions in the colleges sometimes demotivate pupils to gain positive things in life. As I'm already informed about your family situation, your father is sick and there is no other responsible person to take charge, it's your liability to come forward.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Your age is a challenge for you as you've already had a study gap, so you'll need more time to graduate which is not acceptable at
this
Linking Words
 moment.
That is
Linking Words
 why, you should think forward to find a
job
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 immediately. You can think about getting a
job
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 in food delivery or playing a role as a shopkeeper. I've one of my friends doing the same kind of
job
Use synonyms
 and I can help you make communication with him. That will certainly help you to get a career easily I think! I am eager to meet you soon. Let me know your feedback as a reply. Best of luck Andy

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and related supporting details to enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Consider more logically structured arguments and smoother transitions between points for improved clarity.
task achievement
Make sure to include more specific details or examples to strengthen your points related to the advantages of getting a job.
task achievement
The letter has a friendly and supportive tone appropriate for a personal correspondence.
task achievement
You provided a clear recommendation for your friend that aligns with his situation.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical nature
  • real-world experience
  • practical experience
  • professional network
  • financial independence
  • dynamic
  • on-the-job learning
  • creative industries
  • customer service
  • sectors
  • suitable
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