IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

13. People living in the twenty-first century have a better quality of life than people who live in previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #century #quality #life #centuries
It has been suggested that
people
 today have better lifestyles than those in the past, especially before
this
 century.
Although
 I can see the other side, I tend to agree with
this
. Admittedly, there could be a deterioration of quality of
life
 today, and one area where
this
 might be evident is potentially rising stress levels. The past two decades have seen more anxiety and depression, caused by world events
such
 as the global pandemic and climate change, weather disasters, and
also
 more competition for housing, jobs and university places. Together, these macro and micro factors have combined to pose a threat to our collective mental health. In Vietnam today.
For instance
, many young
people
 are under enormous pressure to perform well in their secondary school studies. and
as a result
, inevitably suffer from issues
such
 as Insomnia and burnout.
Nevertheless
, I believe
life
 in
this
 century is generally better than before for two main reasons.
Firstly
, advances in healthcare have not only reduced the suffering from illnesses
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but have
also
 extended
life
 expectancy A good example is
people
 living with HIV, who previously would have died but nowadays can| lead virtually normal lives
Secondly
 education has typically become more accessible. Most countries have, over the past twenty years, lifted funding for schooling, raising literacy levels globally, and allowing more young
people
 to participate in local job markets.
This
 has,
consequently
, raised the standard of living in many parts of the world. In a nutshell, I think that,
although
 there may be some areas of
life
 which have deteriorated in
this
 century, our
overall
 quality of
life
 has improved.
Submitted by hihihahahoho on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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