The number of old people is increasing in many countries. Some people think this causes problems, whilst other people think that old people have an important role to play. How far do you agree or disagree

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Many studies describe the harmful effects that a rise in elderly may cause to a

country

Use synonyms

, as in

this

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discussion, where one proposes having more aged

people

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country

Correct article usage

a country

show examples

could potentially be harmful.

while

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some believe they old

people

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hold a significant position

Remove the comma

apply

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and can benefit society. I acknowledge the two opposite perspectives in question.

However

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, I strongly agree, that having more elderly could be disadvantageous; reasons and examples will be provided to state acknowledgement.

To begin

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with, the rise in the number of elderly

people

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in numbers could potentially be harmful

due to

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its negative effects on a

country

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. One of which is the economic impact, increasing number of old

people

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can strain services like healthcare and public pension services.

For instance

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, many companies have predicted through a variety of studies that,

due to

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the rise in age

people

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, Japan could potentially

be leading

Wrong verb form

lead

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to higher taxes and reduced spending money on areas like education and infrastructure, which may result in a collapse of the

country

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's economy.

Furthermore

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this

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would

also

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lead to a shortage of available workers, affecting productivity and would increase workforce challenges.

On the other hand

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, the elderly

also

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play an important role in society

due to

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several reasons. They have more knowledge & experience, allowing them to contribute in professional

as well as

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community roles and can transmit their practical knowledge to the younger ones.

Moreover

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, the elderly play a crucial role by offering emotional support, contributing to the transmission of cultural importance to the upcoming generations and supporting the healthcare sector in research. In conclusion,

although

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an ageing population can present challenges for a

country

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, especially when compared to the younger generation, the value and contributions of the elderly should not be overlooked. It is crucial to recognize and honour their wisdom, experience, and the roles they play in society, ensuring that their importance is duly acknowledged and respected.

nick Mon Jun 10 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that ideas are clearer and more logically presented. Some sections of the essay could be refined for better understanding.

task achievement

Your essay would benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support the main points. For instance, providing more detailed data or specific case studies would strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

Try to balance the discussion of both perspectives evenly, offering more detailed analysis of the benefits that elderly people bring to society.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the discussion effectively.

task achievement

You have acknowledged both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced perspective.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and includes relevant points about economic impact, workforce challenges, and the value of elderly wisdom and experience.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

aging population
public pension systems
healthcare services
productivity
innovation
birth rates
valuable knowledge
transmission of cultural and practical knowledge
family cohesion
healthcare advancements
age-related conditions
volunteering
community involvement
mutual support

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The number of old people is increasing in many countries. Some people think this causes problems, whilst other people think that old people have an important role to play. How far do you agree or disagree

Some people think that governments should spend money for faster public transportation, others think that there are other important priorities (e.g. cost, environment). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, more and more are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fresh water has become a global problem for the world.What are the causes of it.What meaaures government and individual should take to resolve to the problem?Give reaaon e.g for your answer :

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?