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Band 6

Although more and more people read the news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or dissagree?

#people #news #internet #newspapers #source #majority #dissagree
Many
people
 are obtaining information online
due to
 the advancement of technology and it has been said that the newspaper will be the most significant resource for the major population.
However
, I partly agree with
this
 statement that
people
 can get information via
newspapers
 because of the lack of access to the internet for
people
 who live in remote areas. That being said, digital access to
news
 can replace the newspaper in the near future. There are numerous reasons why
people
 go online in order to read the
news
 .
People
 in remote areas can be the best example .
This
 is because not every house in the countryside is suitably located to connect to wifi. It means
people
 tend to turn to
newspapers
 to catch up with the latest
news
 in the world.
Moreover
, there are elderly readers who prefer old-version style reading that gives a nostalgic feeling about the good old days . Not only old
people
 have chosen
print
 reading
also
people
 who have poor
eyesight
 can obtain
newspapers
 to get insights into the world.
Due to
 technological development, digital reading can replace
print
 reading in the future especially when it comes to
newspapers
. Having access to the internet for
people
 who live far from the city centre gives them a chance to glance at the
news
 on a daily basis.
Furthermore
, the digital screen reader tablet has been created to give the impression of a real
print
 reading style.
This
 means the device does not affect your
eyesight
 negatively and allows you to extend your screen reading time.
As a result
, it can help readers to protect their
eyesight
 and go green in order to save the environment. In conclusion,
although
people
 can still prefer
print
 reading owing to remote locations and poor
eyesight
,
still
Rephrase
apply
show examples
in my opinion, digital reading will take its place in the near future
due to
 internet availability in remote areas and technological devices
such
 as a tablet which helps to take care of eyes.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical structure with clear main points. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed and connected to the main points.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task appropriately and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. It provides relevant specific examples to support the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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