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Band 6.5

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#function #music #people #stress
It is argued that reducing human stress is the most vital role of
music
. I totally disagree with
this
 opinion because it can be utilized to boost one's brain growth and social interaction.
to begin
 with, the first reason for my disagreement is that
music
 plays a crucial role in stimulating human brain development. To be more specific, it is believed that listening to
music
 promotes
people
’s ability to be more creative.
According to
 medical experts, unborn babies who are exposed to
music
while
 in the worn, show a significant improvement in their
overall
 development as compared to those not.
In addition
,
music
 can be beneficial to human memory. Scientifically, it is proven to slow cognitive decline, making it become more popular to be used to treat
people
 with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia.
Secondly
, another significant benefit of
music
 rather than stress reduction is stronger social connection.
This
 can be explained by the fact that many musical events and shows have attracted numerous audiences to share their taste in
music
. By participating in these events, they can have a chance to interact with other
people
 and exchange ideas to express their own musical perceptions.
As a result
, they can widen their cycle of relationships by making new friends with like-minded
people
. In conclusion, I strongly oppose the idea that the most pivotal role of
music
 is to release
ones’
Change noun form
one’s
show examples
 stress because other considerable benefits are to enhance their creativity and social interaction. It is advisable that
people
 can use
music
 in a wide range of fields to increase productivity at work and improve their well-being.
Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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