At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

#time #population #countries #adults #people

There is an increase in the population of most

countries

these days. In most

countries

Add a comma

,countries

show examples

The percentage of

youth

outnumber

Correct subject-verb agreement

outnumbers

show examples

that of old

people

Although

there are downsides,

this

essay argues that the advantages are stronger as the

youth

constitutes a large number of the

countries

Change noun form

country's

show examples

workforce and

also

the

youth

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

technology

oriented.

Firstly

, one benefit Is the

youth

makes up a greater part of a

countries

Change noun form

country's

show examples

workforce. Young

people

are more energetic compared to older

people

This

makes them able to work more and produce more and better quality

resource

Fix the agreement mistake

resources

show examples

compared to the old.

For example

, most employers these days prefer to work with young

people

old

Correct word choice

and old

show examples

people

because they believe young

people

, in terms of physical

appearance

Add the comma(s)

,appearance

show examples

are

more fit

Replace the words

fitter

show examples

and more active,

any

Change preposition

in any

show examples

kind of labour. It is

also

believed that the

youth

also

mentally

Correct quantifier usage

more mentally

show examples

active than the old.

This

makes the

youth

a great asset to many

countries

Secondly

, looking at the rates at which

technology

taken

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

over the world in all aspects, the

youth

are able to merge and

coperate

Correct your spelling

operate

corporate

cooperate

faster and easier compared to old

people

. Most old

people

find it difficult

adapting

Change the verb form

to adapt

show examples

to the use of new

technology

This

gives they use

Correct article usage

the

show examples

upper hand and benefits a country more. New software

are

Change the verb form

show examples

introduced in organizations for better work outcome.

They

Correct your spelling

The

show examples

youth

is able to learn faster and incorporate it into

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

daily living. Old

people

tend to be slow learners.

On the other hand

, old

people

also

play important roles in the country.

Change preposition

show examples

the community or home level, old

people

help to

instill

Change the spelling

instil

show examples

, good morals and discipline in the

youth

. Old

people

also

help in switching to

use

Wrong verb form

using

show examples

the customs and traditions of their community and country as a whole. The absence of old

people

live young adults, ignorant of their cultures and beliefs.

To sum up

,I believe the usefulness of the

youth

been

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

a larger part of a country’s population trumps the downsides as the

youth

plays a better

roles

Correct the article-noun agreement

role

show examples

in terms of a

countries

Change noun form

country's

show examples

workforce and the

youth

being

technology

oriented.

Submitted by fremaadjei18 on Wed Apr 26 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

346 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Fully explain your ideas

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Some students take a year off studying between finishing school and going to university in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give you own opinion.

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons.Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.

Today people are travelling more than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?