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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
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With the fast development of social media, many kids tend to spend more
time
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 using their smartphones every day to stay in touch with what happened at the moment in the world. Personally, I think
this
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 is definitely a negative advancement. One underlying cause behind the above-mentioned phenomenon might be parental neglect of young charges. Middle-aged people face a lot of pressure both from work and their family nowadays, thereby many
parents
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 tend to spend less
time
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 communicating with their
children
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. Without enough interactions in the family,
children
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 may choose to talk to friends or total strangers online, which causes them to use many electronic devices.
In addition
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, things on the internet nowadays become more and more attractive to all individuals,
therefore
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, teenagers are attracted by phone games, short videos, and so on. To be more specific, kids may find how interesting the virtual world is and spend more hours on it. The solutions to
this
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 issue could be diverse.
Firstly
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,
parents
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 should attach significance to youngsters’ growth and strike a balance between their work and
children
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. They need to spend more
time
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 interacting with their
children
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 to show how the real world can
also
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 bring happiness to them.
Besides
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,
parents
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 and schools should teach
children
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 the importance of doing exercise and the danger of keeping their eyes on small electronic screens all day.
Parents
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 can take their
children
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 to go out to see the natural view and breathe the fresh air and schools can hold courses about health and encourage kids to live a healthier life.
To conclude
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, two factors contribute to the surge of
time
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 spent on cell phones by youngsters. I am convinced that the measures including high-quality parental education and introducing feasible courses would constitute a crucial step in resolving
this
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 problem.
Submitted by xiangyiwan5 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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