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Band 6

Most countries want to improve standard of living through economic development,however, others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #development #value
The government wants to save and welfare their community in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. Some of them have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to improve
standard
Add an article
the standard
show examples
 of living and the way that government could take
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
economic
development
. By improving economic
development
, the government in some countries hopes it could make
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 living.
However
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
improving economic
development
 could have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 negative effect.
For instance
, social
value
. Here, I will explain the problem
arises
Correct pronoun usage
that arises
show examples
 as the effect of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic
development
. To start with,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic
development
 aims to elevate the standard of living among the communities and has the purpose to improve the quality of living in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. The reason for improving
standard
Add an article
the standard
show examples
 of living
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 mitigate the poorness in
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 and to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 the money
value
 in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
In addition
, the developed
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive impact. To illustrate
this
, the tourist from other countries has the interest to take
vacation
Add an article
a vacation
show examples
 in
developed
Add an article
the developed
show examples
country
 since the developed
country
 have the proper accommodation and facility.
Although
 there are
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 advantages
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 developing
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
,
on the contrary
, it could have disadvantages which appear as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic
development
.
For instance
, social
value
. Social
value
 is the issue
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the effect of
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
. People with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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greater
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 condition tend to
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 the respect in community as they think that they are not
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the same level and the norms could be devasted as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result of
this
 improvement. In conclusion, Economic
development
 has many
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
show examples
 to make better in a nation and attract the tourist from other countries to visit. Meanwhile, the social
value
 problem could appear as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
development
 even though
that is
 not a big deal as the developed economy could surpass the disadvantage and increase the
money
Replace the word
monetary
show examples
value
.
Submitted by farel2300 on

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