IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Most countries want to improve standard of living through economic development,however, others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

The government wants to save and welfare their community in
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
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. Some of them have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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different
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 to improve
standard
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the standard
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 of living and the way that government could take
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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economic
development
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. By improving economic
development
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, the government in some countries hopes it could make
the
Correct article usage
a
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 change
of
Change preposition
in
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 living.
However
Linking Words
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
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improving economic
development
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 could have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 negative effect.
For instance
Linking Words
, social
value
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. Here, I will explain the problem
arises
Correct pronoun usage
that arises
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 as the effect of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economic
development
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. To start with,
The
Correct article usage
apply
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economic
development
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 aims to elevate the standard of living among the communities and has the purpose to improve the quality of living in
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country
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the country
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. The reason for improving
standard
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the standard
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 of living
to
Add a missing verb
is to
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 mitigate the poorness in
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 and to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
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 the money
value
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 in
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the developed
economic
Replace the word
economy
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 in
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country
Add an article
the country
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 has
the
Correct article usage
a
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 positive impact. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, the tourist from other countries has the interest to take
vacation
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a vacation
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 in
developed
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the developed
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country
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 since the developed
country
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 have the proper accommodation and facility.
Although
Linking Words
 there are
much
Change the quantifier
many
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 advantages
from
Change preposition
to
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 developing
Correct article usage
the economic
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economic
Replace the word
economy
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,
on the contrary
Linking Words
, it could have disadvantages which appear as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic
development
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, social
value
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. Social
value
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 is the issue
as
Change preposition
apply
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the effect of
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
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. People with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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greater
economy
Replace the word
economic
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 condition tend to
loss
Replace the word
lose
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 the respect in community as they think that they are not
in
Change preposition
on
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 the same level and the norms could be devasted as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result of
this
Linking Words
 improvement. In conclusion, Economic
development
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 has many
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
show examples
 to make better in a nation and attract the tourist from other countries to visit. Meanwhile, the social
value
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 problem could appear as
the
Correct article usage
a
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development
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 even though
that is
Linking Words
 not a big deal as the developed economy could surpass the disadvantage and increase the
money
Replace the word
monetary
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value
Use synonyms
.

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