It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifesytle in order to prevent ilness than to spend it on tretment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a common belief that spending public money on leading a healthy lifestyle is more crucial to prevent disease than spending it on medical treatment. I am partly in agreement with
this
view though more public funding should be invested in treating old
people
or individuals suffering from hereditary
diseases
. Proponents often argue the need for promoting public service advertisements to raise health awareness. Some effective ways for
this
are to promote healthcare education and make online content to provide information about the risks of unhealthy habits and the importance of eating balanced meals. Through these campaigns,
people
will practice including carbohydrates, grains, meat, and vegetables in their meals
while
halting smoking and drinking.
Furthermore
, more public money should be allocated for constructing eco-friendly parks and sports centres that offer various cheap programs. A salient example is Central Park in New York City where busy working
people
can increase their levels of fitness and relieve stress through walking or jogging or participating in yoga classes.
Although
the above-mentioned points are undoubtedly true, I believe it is more significant to invest in medical treatment.
This
is because all taxpayers deserve to receive national welfare systems including medical services.
Coupled with
this
, there is little that we can do for hereditary
diseases
or illnesses that occur from the natural ageing process. Indeed, the majority of old
people
suffer from both minor and major
diseases
such
as cancer, diabetes, cardiovascular
diseases
and others,
while
some young individuals find hospitals
due to
illnesses that run in the family. The government should
therefore
spend national budgets on developing surgical methods, medicines, and technologies.
Submitted by lym1049 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: