IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree ?

#college #students #schools #home #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Students
Use synonyms
 have become an integral part of the rising debate in the present world.
while
Linking Words
 proponents of the arguments are in favour.
However
Linking Words
, the opponents are completely against the student staying in college rather than at
home
Use synonyms
.In my opinion, the
students
Use synonyms
 are live at
home
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
most
Replace the word
more
show examples
 positive impact than negative around the globe. To commence with, there are a number of arguments in favour of my belief.The most prominent one of
that is
Linking Words
 living at
home
Use synonyms
. The research conducted by Sydney University shows that
students
Use synonyms
 who live at
home
Use synonyms
 are more active. They have many options to spend their free time with relatives,
elder
Correct word choice
and elder
show examples
 people and sometimes can hang out with friends.
Secondly
Linking Words
 , the elder people teach their life experiences and motivate the young people in their bad situations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,critics may point out that there are one of the most significant disadvantages is living in college
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 like living in a circle. Everyday routine life has been planned and they focus mainly towards study. which can result in a number of serious Consequences. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instant
Replace the word
instance
show examples
, a survey conducted in the
united states
Correct your spelling
United States
show examples
 reveals that
students
Use synonyms
 living in college will
lead
Verb problem
have
show examples
 many advantages like discussing their doubts when they have free time
.but
Correct your spelling
but
 the issue is
students
Use synonyms
 don't about their family wealth.
To conclude
Linking Words
 , even when there are a lot of demerits of
students
Use synonyms
 living on the campus .the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.In my belief , there are so many merits and demerits is there . But
according to
Linking Words
 their ,situation
students
Use synonyms
 can select the required one. The effective use of proper guidance should be promoted .
However
Linking Words
, its misuse should be condemned.
Submitted by murugadassbe92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing the ideas in a more coherent manner. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are more clearly presented.
task achievement
The response does not fully address the prompt. Ensure that the arguments are clear and comprehensive, and use relevant specific examples to support the points made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: