When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is commonly believed that it is more crucial to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres. I strongly agree with the statement and the reasons will be explained in the essay.

To begin

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with, it might be sensible for some to believe that the shopping zone is significant.

This

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is possibly because it is the place that sells several things.

For example

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,food, citizens visit

this

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place to buy their meals.

Moreover

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this

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creates income for inhabitants because they can work as a seller.

Due to

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this

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, the amount of money in the town is increased. In my perspective, those places should be

focusing

Wrong verb form

focused on

show examples

later, sports facilities and parks are the things that we should attend to when we plan to build a new town, seeing that

this

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has various benefits.

Firstly

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this

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encourages citizens of every age to exercise as there are many activities for them to do,

for instance

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, teenagers playing football with their friends, and adults running or jogging.

Moreover

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this

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place can enhance relationships in the family. To illustrate, kids have a picnic with their parents on the weekend.

Accordingly

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, these can help those people to release stress and to become stronger,

therefore

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, these are reasons why these places are crucial for people in the community. In conclusion,

although

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it is undeniable that shopping centres are important since it is can create jobs for individuals, I am of the opinion that parks are

also

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essential as the reason that people can do various activities in

this

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area and that helps them have good physical and mental health.

nuchnapa.annaSun May 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more developed to provide a clear overview and summary of your position and main points. Make sure to include a thesis statement in your introduction that clearly outlines your opinion on the topic.

task achievement

You have addressed the task by stating your opinion clearly and providing relevant reasons for your position. However, the essay would benefit from a more thorough exploration of the topic, with a more balanced consideration of opposing views.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. What are the effects of rapid population growth in the city? How can the quality of life city dwellers be maintain?

"In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common." Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people think children should learn to paint and draw at school. Others believe it is just a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.