IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

people believe that teeagers should be require to do unpaid community work in therefore in their time this can benefit teenager and the community as well. To what extant do you agree or disagree.

#people #teeagers #community #work #time #benefit #teenager
These days, many
teenagers
 dedicate themselves in volunteers in
community
work
. Some assert that
this
 development brings benefits to both children and the
community
. In my point of view, I strongly agree with
this
 belief for two key reasons.
Firstly
, they can build a wide range of
skills
 and knowledge bases, which are essential for their future lives, and
secondly
, the
community
 can provide more services to many people who want them. The primary reason I agree is that engaging in
community
 activities plays a crucial role in order to develop
teenagers
' vital skill sets including problem-solving
skills
.
For instance
, since there are difficulties occurring in
community
work
 which force them to think deeply and logically to solve issues,
this
 environment would help to accelerate their cognitive function resulting in the improvement in the above-mentioned skill. In fact, recent research conducted by The University of Tokyo revealed that children are more likely to gain favourable
skills
 in
such
 situations than staying at school.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
community
work
 is favourable for them.
Further
 support for my idea is that the
community
 can provide their services for more individuals who are eager for them.
This
 is because they basically struggle with a lack of labour force and
teenagers
 would compensate for
this
 situation.
According to
 an article in the Asahi Shimbun newspaper, employers in communities in Japan, especially organizations with financial problems, mentioned that student volunteer staff noticeably contributed to their activities, which meant more individuals could rely on the service.
Thus
, there is another merit to requiring
teenagers
 to do unpaid
community
work
. In conclusion, I firmly believe that there are many advantages which come from the situation that young people
work
 for the
community
 as volunteers.
In particular
, they can gain helpful
skills
 for their future lives and
community
 organizers can spread their services to more people.
Submitted by ryohei.1015.golf on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: