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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It was predicted that, with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than in the past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

#development #technology #people #st #century #time #prediction
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Some
people
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 predicted that the public in the 21st
century
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 would have much more free occasions than in the past. I personally think that the prediction of
people
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 having more free
time
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 in the 21st
century
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 has come true accurately. There are, I admit, reasons for supporting that
people
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 in the 21st
century
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 have been much busier than in the past, and an obvious one is advancements in science and technology, particularly in healthcare. It led to decreased mortality rates and increased population.
As a result
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, social competition has intensified, and individuals must work harder to avoid being replaced by society.
Nonetheless
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, I feel, the downsides are more persuasive.
Firstly
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, technological innovations make
people
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’s offices efficient, so that they have more
time
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 to relax.
For example
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, many search software makes
people
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 find the information they need quickly and easily.
Secondly
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, technology can improve the efficiency of daily tasks.
For instance
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, household equipment
such
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 as washing machines and dishwashers reduce the
time
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 spent on housework.
In addition
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, online courses and educational resources make it easy for individuals to gain new knowledge.
Therefore
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,
this
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 can help the public to study anytime and anywhere, saving commuting
time
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 to after-school classes. In conclusion,
while
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 there are various reasons why
people
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 may be busier in the 21st
century
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, advancements in science and technology have indeed provided individuals with more free
time
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 for self-improvement and relaxation.
Submitted by 1994755613 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide more variety of cohesive devices such as transitions and linking words to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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