Many people aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #aim #development #values

There are

people

who try to make their

life

better by improving their economic status.

However

, others argue that by focusing on the economic aspect of

life

some other important values will be neglected. I believe that the benefits of improving the financial aspect of

life

are less important than other social virtues. some

people

assert that making more

money

provides many benefits for an individual's

life

To begin

with, increasing the family's income will result in a better

life

standard and more happiness.

In contrast

, if a family do not earn a decent salary, the consequences would be more anxiety and misconduct among family members.

This

means earning enough

money

to preserve other social values. Take prosperous nations in which families earn sufficient

money

as an example; the rate of crimes is far less compared to poor nations.

Moreover

, earning more

money

helps parents to spend more time with their children, so parents have enough time to teach children important lessons.

Nevertheless

, others think that when most

people

's brains are occupied with monetary affairs, they do not have adequate time to think about ethical subjects.

In other words

, by trying hard to accumulate wealth, individuals undermine other vital values.

For instance

, those who spent several years on Wall Street do not regard lying as a disgusting vice. They think it is simply a method in the market not to tell the truth.

Furthermore

, in some wealthy families, there are children who are antisocial. They do not respect social norms because they have not been taught to do so.

For example

, they do not consider social inequality as an important issue, and they are reluctant to help the poor.

While

these

people

are rich, they are not respectful members of society. In conclusion,

whereas

improving the economic situation plays a crucial role in making

life

standards better, focusing solely on it may cause the neglection of other important social factors of

life

, so I believe that the disadvantages of focusing on increasing wealth by no means outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by amirghas92 on Tue May 16 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

339 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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