Many people aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are
people
Use synonyms
who try to make their
life
Use synonyms
better by improving their economic status.
However
Linking Words
, others argue that by focusing on the economic aspect of
life
Use synonyms
some other important values will be neglected. I believe that the benefits of improving the financial aspect of
life
Use synonyms
are less important than other social virtues. some
people
Use synonyms
assert that making more
money
Use synonyms
provides many benefits for an individual's
life
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with, increasing the family's income will result in a better
life
Use synonyms
standard and more happiness.
In contrast
Linking Words
, if a family do not earn a decent salary, the consequences would be more anxiety and misconduct among family members.
This
Linking Words
means earning enough
money
Use synonyms
to preserve other social values. Take prosperous nations in which families earn sufficient
money
Use synonyms
as an example; the rate of crimes is far less compared to poor nations.
Moreover
Linking Words
, earning more
money
Use synonyms
helps parents to spend more time with their children, so parents have enough time to teach children important lessons.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, others think that when most
people
Use synonyms
's brains are occupied with monetary affairs, they do not have adequate time to think about ethical subjects.
In other words
Linking Words
, by trying hard to accumulate wealth, individuals undermine other vital values.
For instance
Linking Words
, those who spent several years on Wall Street do not regard lying as a disgusting vice. They think it is simply a method in the market not to tell the truth.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in some wealthy families, there are children who are antisocial. They do not respect social norms because they have not been taught to do so.
For example
Linking Words
, they do not consider social inequality as an important issue, and they are reluctant to help the poor.
While
Linking Words
these
people
Use synonyms
are rich, they are not respectful members of society. In conclusion,
whereas
Linking Words
improving the economic situation plays a crucial role in making
life
Use synonyms
standards better, focusing solely on it may cause the neglection of other important social factors of
life
Use synonyms
, so I believe that the disadvantages of focusing on increasing wealth by no means outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by amirghas92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: