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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people believe that a university education is necessary for a good career. Do you agree or disagree? What other factors can contribute to a good career?

For many years, it has been considered that the highest level of education is the key to a successful career.
However
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, I would say that nowadays there are other factors that lead to successful job opportunities.
Therefore
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, I partially agree that having a higher degree is the only way to have a prosperous career. I agree with
this
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 statement, because in university, students can choose their vocation and gain new knowledge.
This
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 institution opened the way for us to develop our skills.
For example
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, people who have a diploma conforming
your
Change preposition
to your
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 qualifications will help to find a job faster, unlike those who don’t have
.
Correct pronoun usage
one.
show examples
Also
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, students learn how to work in a team and solve problems.
This
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 experience helps them in their future career. Every person has different opinions about their personality qualifications. Any person who
finished
Verb problem
has finished
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 training with a diploma, which confirms their skills in
this
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 performance.
However
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 is not a full-fledged degree. People can work hard and find good relationships in society, and without proper education, still provide their capabilities.
Besides
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 that, many individuals achieve progress thanks to strong motivation and practical abilities. Real-world challenges teach responsibility and independence. In conclusion, I would say that lifelong learning is an integral part of our lives because we receive education throughout our lives, through work, relationships, and the goals we set, regardless of where we received it. Need to have a clear idea of ​​what you want to get from
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
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a degree and which direction to move in based on your capabilities and future goals, all in your hands.

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task response
State your view clearly in the start. Do not move your stance later in the essay.
structure
Use a simple plan: intro, body with 2 or 3 ideas, then a short end. Stay on one main topic.
coherence
Make the order of ideas easy to follow. Use links like and, but, also, for example.
grammar
Keep to short, plain sentences. Check verbs and tense. Remove long and hard words.
examples
Give one clear example for each idea to show proof.
lexical
Use only common, everyday words. Do not try hard words.
content
The essay shows a real effort to discuss both sides.
support
There are clear ideas on how university life can help.
insight
The closing idea about lifelong learning is a good touch.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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