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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many countries invest money to prepare competitors to join top competitions, the Olympics or the World Cup. Therefore, it is necessary to offer money to encourage children to exercise more? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A lot of cash is invested by most countries to prepare their competing citizens to join the World Cup or Olympics competition
therefore
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 ,some people are of the opinion that
children
Use synonyms
 should be motivated to exercise more by offering a lot of money them, I completely disagree with
this
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 line of thought because of the level of demerits involved which will be discussed extensively in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, there are a few benefits associated with giving cash prizes to
children
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.
Firstly
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, a lot of young folks from different parts would be willing to join thereby expanding the options of getting more talents and skills
Secondly
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, it increases motivation. cash reward to the best player will motivate every one of them to practice more and be the best at the game
therefore
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 there would be an increase in excellent performance.
On the other hand
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, using money to motivate
children
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 will make them more prize-oriented
instead
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 goal-oriented, they won't care to put interest in learning the skills involved in mastering
such
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 a vocation rather they will be consumed by their quest to win.
Furthermore
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, it will not allow them to be team builders, normally
this
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 type of game requires people to come together to achieve a common goal
instead
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 of
this
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 the opposite will be the case as everyone looks after themselves. In conclusion, Though both of them have their merits and demerits,the long-term effect of motivating
children
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 with money will have a damaging effect on the future of our younger generation.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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