IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Society is based on rules and laws. If individuals were free to do whatever they want to do, it could not fuction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

#society #rules #laws #individuals #fuction
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Rules
Use synonyms
 and laws play an imperative role in order to make a better
society
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. Without
rules
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 and ,
regulations
Use synonyms
society
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 could not be operated in an effective way. I entirely agree with the given notion.
This
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 essay will discuss my opinion precisely in the subsequent paragraphs. There are a myriad of reasons why
rules
Use synonyms
 and
regulations
Use synonyms
 are crucial for making a better
society
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. The predominant one is that if the regime makes more
rules
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 for
individuals
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then
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 there could decrease in
chances
Correct article usage
the chances
show examples
 of accidents,
crime
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 rate and many more. It would be worthwhile for
individuals
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 if they follow
rules
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 and
regulations
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 which are made by the government. Without,
rules
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 and
regulations
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 people would not be able to live their life in a better way. A survey conducted by the BBC(British Broadcast Corporation) demonstrated that 67% of the masses suffered from road accidents as they had not followed
rules
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while
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 travelling ,so
rules
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 and
regulations
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 are
very
Rephrase
apply
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essential for
individuals
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.
Moreover
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, without
rules
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 and laws, in a nation
crime
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 rate could
be increased
Wrong verb form
increase
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 as with freedom anyone can do any type of
crime
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such
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 as murder, robbery and so on. If the government do strictness in the whole country it helps to decrease the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate and the masses can live their life without any fear .
For instance
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, famous celebrity
sidhu
Change the capitalization
Sidhu
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 moosewala had been murdered by terrorists
due to
Linking Words
 fewer
rules
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 and
regulations
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. For making a better
society
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 there should not only be more
rules
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 and
regulations
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 but
also
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 strictness in following the
rules
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. In conclusion, I reiterate that
rules
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 and
regulations
Use synonyms
 are
very
Rephrase
apply
show examples
essential for
individuals
Use synonyms
 as without
rules
Use synonyms
 and laws they would have to face numerous difficulties in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by MANJOT on

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of rules and regulations, and their impact on society.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, pay more attention to linking ideas within and between paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion.
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