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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced.summarisethe information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced.summarisethe information by selecting and reporting the main features.
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The given diagram represents the process of producing
milk
Use synonyms
 and dairy.
Overall
Linking Words
,it involves 8 stages ranging from cow raring to the supply of the finished products to the supermarket for purchase and consumption.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,it involves 2 stages of processing. The first in the farm and the second in the factory.
Firstly
Linking Words
 cows are rare in the farms to the stage of reproduction. Lactating herds are milked daily in the mornings and evenings with the aid of
milking
Add an article
a milking
the milking
show examples
 machine. The
collect
Replace the word
collected
show examples
milk
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 preserved in the refrigerator for preservation before being transported to the factory with a
milk
Use synonyms
 tanker for onward processing. I'm the factory, dairy products, cream,butter and cheese are extracted from the
milk
Use synonyms
 and the
milk
Use synonyms
preserved
Add a missing verb
is preserved
show examples
 by the process of Pasteurization. The
milk
Use synonyms
 and products are packaged and
send
Change the form of the verb
sent
show examples
 to the supermarket for
sales
Fix the agreement mistake
sale
show examples
 to consumers.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words milk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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