IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from, and the charts show how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from, and the charts show how it was distributed.
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The table gives information about
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
 and where it
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 from,
while
Linking Words
 pie charts illustrate how that
budget
Use synonyms
 was distributed between 2017 and 2018 in an area of Britain. The data is measured in million pounds for table and percentages for pie charts.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
 for National Government and Local Taxes witnessed a marginal increase,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure for other sources almost remained unchanged
between
Change preposition
for
show examples
 2 years. The share of distributed
money
Use synonyms
 of salaries was less considerable than
technology
Correct article usage
the technology
show examples
 figure in 2018,
while
Linking Words
 the index for spending
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 building and transport stayed the same. Looking at the details, the figures for
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 Government
budget
Use synonyms
 experienced a steady growth from 175.5 m in
2017to
Correct your spelling
2017 to
 177.8 in 2018,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 index for Local Taxes increased by almost 10 from 91.2 in 2018. The number of other resources
budget
Use synonyms
 almost remained unchanged
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 38.5.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 a dramatic increase was the case in total
budget
Use synonyms
 from 304.7 to 318.6. The share of
money
Use synonyms
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 salaries was 75 % in 2017 in Britain, in the following year it decreased to 69%
while
Linking Words
 there was a substantial rise
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technology from 8 % to 14%. The proportion of spending
money
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 buildings and transport stayed the same with 17 both in 2017 and 2018

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words budget, money with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • funding sources
  • government policies
  • economic conditions
  • community services
  • crime prevention
  • public safety
  • significant increase/decrease
  • distribution
  • assessment
  • reflection
  • allocation shifts
  • budget comparison
  • impact analysis
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