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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows how ethanol fuel is produced from corn.

The diagram below shows how ethanol fuel is produced from corn.
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The flowchart illustrates the
process
Use synonyms
 of manufacturing
ethanol
Use synonyms
 fuel from corn.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 9 distinct stages in
this
Linking Words
 linear
process
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, commencing with getting corn and culminating with transporting it to customers.
Besides
Linking Words
, preparing
ethanol
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 requires specialized equipment with water. The initial phases of
this
Linking Words
 pictorial diagram all happen
on
Change preposition
in
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 huge corporations.
At the first
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
 in the
process
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, the corn is stored in containers and it is milled in order to prepare
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 another
stage
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. Once milling
corns
Fix the agreement mistake
corn
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 are cooked for 4 hours, it is fermented for 2 days as it is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
the crucial
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stage
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
process
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. In the following
stage
Use synonyms
 fermented
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 in separated
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 2
phrases
Correct your spelling
phases
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: liquid and solid products.
Then
Linking Words
liquid
Add an article
the liquid
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 product is purified. After liquating
ethanol
Use synonyms
 is
purifying
Wrong verb form
purified
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 for 5 hours. Over the course of
8th
Correct article usage
the 8th
show examples
stage
Use synonyms
 purified
ethanol
Use synonyms
 is stored. The final step involves carrying the ready products to special tracks and transporting them to customers

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, ethanol, stage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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