More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why is this? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?

In recent years, there has been an increase in the number of young individuals from underdeveloped
countries
volunteering in poor
communities
abroad, particularly in areas
such
as teaching and construction.
This
trend can be attributed to several factors, with both the
volunteers
and the
communities
gaining benefits from
this
experience. There are some factors that can explain why young
people
choose to engage in unpaid work in poorer
countries
, one of which is the desire for personal growth and global awareness. In many developed nations, young individuals are eager to broaden their perspectives and experience life outside of their comfort zones. By working directly with
communities
that face economic challenges,
volunteers
gain valuable life skills and a deeper understanding of social issues, which they may not be able to achieve in their own
countries
.
Furthermore
, the rise of global connectivity and social media has exposed these young
people
to the realities of poverty and inequality, in turn,leading
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
desire to contribute in a meaningful way.
This
type of volunteer work brings substantial benefits to both parties involved. On one hand, poor
communities
receive much-needed support in areas
such
as education and infrastructure.
Volunteers
can provide skills and resources that local
communities
may lack, which can have a lasting impact on development.
On the other hand
, young
people
benefit greatly from the personal growth that
this
experience provides. They often return to their home
countries
with a greater sense of responsibility, compassion, and cultural awareness, qualities that can enhance their careers and personal lives. In conclusion,
while
the motivations behind young
people
's volunteer work in poorer
countries
may vary, it is apparent that both the
communities
and the
volunteers
themselves receive significant rewards.
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, try including specific examples or case studies that illustrate the benefits to both the volunteers and the communities.
task achievement
Work on reinforcing the clarity of your ideas by elaborating on the points made, possibly using statistical data or quotes from experts.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by connecting the main ideas more seamlessly and ensuring that transitions between paragraphs maintain the flow of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the response effectively.
coherence cohesion
It provides a logical progression of ideas, addressing both questions posed in the prompt.
task achievement
The writing demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, addressing the reasons behind the trend and the benefits to different parties.

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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