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Writing Samples
Band 6

These days many children spend a great deal of time sitting in from of a television. Some people believe that parents should strictly limit the time that children spend watching TV as it is harmful to their development. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#children #time #television #people #parents #limit #tv #development
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Nowadays, a large number of students waste their time watching television which is not good for their brains and daily functions. I agree with
this
 statement because the biggest onus is on the
parents
.
Firstly
 let's talk about the harm that
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
children
.
As a result
 of watching a digital screen continuously, it directly affects the eyes. Colour blindness highly increasing among school
children
 during the past decade. Doctors advised strictly to
parents
 to keep away their
children
 from television.
Actually
Add a comma
,Actually
show examples
 there are fewer and fewer good programmes for pupils and most of them are useless fictionized cartoons without any important message.
Parents
 are highly responsible for
this
 problem because offspring were pressurized and overburdened with homework. To release from
this
 stress they choose to sit on the colourful box and waste their valuable time. Not only
this
, the majority of school heir play computer games,
Consequently
 they are hiding from society and they became isolated when they become elders and
this
 affects them badly. To tackle
this
 problem both mothers and fathers should involve and advise their
children
 about the downside of
this
 malpractice ,
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 they will suffer a lot. In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
parents
 can introduce hobbies, games and team works.
As well as
 they can go to the library and read novels, and newspapers. Or they can help little
children
 by teaching them something. The big planet Earth has become a small global village and
children
 can use their technical knowledge for their victory.
To conclude
, I believe that wasting time sitting by the television is to be minimised by involving
parents
.
Submitted by pmmadushani123 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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