These days many children spend a great deal of time sitting in from of a television. Some people believe that parents should strictly limit the time that children spend watching TV as it is harmful to their development. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#children #time #television #people #parents #limit #tv #development

Nowadays, a large number of students waste their time watching television which is not good for their brains and daily functions. I agree with

this

statement because the biggest onus is on the

parents

Firstly

let's talk about the harm that

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

children

As a result

of watching a digital screen continuously, it directly affects the eyes. Colour blindness highly increasing among school

children

during the past decade. Doctors advised strictly to

parents

to keep away their

children

from television.

Actually

Add a comma

,Actually

show examples

there are fewer and fewer good programmes for pupils and most of them are useless fictionized cartoons without any important message.

Parents

are highly responsible for

this

problem because offspring were pressurized and overburdened with homework. To release from

this

stress they choose to sit on the colourful box and waste their valuable time. Not only

this

, the majority of school heir play computer games,

Consequently

they are hiding from society and they became isolated when they become elders and

this

affects them badly. To tackle

this

problem both mothers and fathers should involve and advise their

children

about the downside of

this

malpractice ,

otherwise

Add a comma

,otherwise

show examples

they will suffer a lot. In

fact

Add a comma

,fact

show examples

parents

can introduce hobbies, games and team works.

As well as

they can go to the library and read novels, and newspapers. Or they can help little

children

by teaching them something. The big planet Earth has become a small global village and

children

can use their technical knowledge for their victory.

To conclude

, I believe that wasting time sitting by the television is to be minimised by involving

parents

Submitted by pmmadushani123 on Thu May 25 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

262 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days many children spend a great deal of time sitting in from of a television. Some people believe that parents should strictly limit the time that children spend watching TV as it is harmful to their development. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, many people don't know their neighbours in large city What problems does this cause what can be done about this

In some countries,owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students.