Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local people when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country.  To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people argue that international
tourists
must pay more than local
visitors
when they visit
heritage
places or historical
landmarks
. I totally agree, since international
visitors
probably have much more wealth based on their GDP. In my opinion, it is acceptable for a
country
to charge more to foreign
visitors
. When
heritage
places, cultural sites, and historical
landmarks
charge more fare to foreign
visitors
, it will increase the nation's incoming. When international
tourists
visit a foreign
country
, most of the time they are pretty curious about the designated
country
’s
heritage
.
Therefore
, they tend to visit many cultural and historical
landmarks
.
For example
, in Indonesia, there are many
heritage
sites and historical
landmarks
. If they charged international
tourists
with a special fare and multiplied by how many historical
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Indonesia has, it will increase the
country
's income significantly. The higher fare for international
visitors
also
can be used as maintenance for the historical place itself, so it can attract more
tourists
. Nowadays, in
this
digitalization era, we can pretty much know anything from the internet. when the historical site and cultural attraction are well maintained, it will leave a great impression on whoever visited it. Especially international
tourists
, when they are satisfied they tend to make a video or documentation
while
they are there. And once they upload it to the internet, there is a chance that it will be seen by the citizens of the planet. That will increase the chance to attract more international
tourists
. And the loop will go on and on, repeating itself. In conclusion, I believe that charging more fares to foreign
visitors
will benefit the
country
significantly, especially in the tourism sector.
Submitted by nputera.ramadhani on

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task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion and supported it with relevant points. However, try to elaborate more on your examples and connect them more firmly to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay is generally well-organized, there are a few places where the flow of ideas could be smoother. Ensure each paragraph transitions naturally to the next.
grammar vocabulary
Avoid minor grammatical errors and refine your vocabulary to ensure clarity and precision.
task achievement
You have framed a clear introduction which sets up your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces the main points made in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • maintenance
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • differential pricing
  • overcrowding
  • discriminatory
  • tourism revenue
  • economic impact
  • sustainability
  • responsible tourism
  • global heritage
  • cultural exchange
  • funding models
  • tourist influx
  • local taxpayers
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