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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people believe that majority of children in western countries are being obese. Is it true? Agree or disagree. Give reasons and examples.

#people #majority #children #countries
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Nowadays, obesity in
children
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 has heated debate and drawn public attention,
thus
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 increasing the public belief that more and more young generations in Western nations are facing obesity, I totally agree with
this
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 viewpoint, though it's not just in the Western part but worldwide,
due to
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 the sedentary lifestyle of the young people and cropping of fast foods and restaurants everywhere. First and foremost,
due to
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 technological advancements like the internet, smartphones, and computer glued these
children
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 to the screen for hours and more
instead
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 of going out to play. To exemplify, they stay in front of smartphones playing games without a time limit
while
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 having some chips and soft drinks,it is clearly shown that they are likely to gain weight since they have no exercise or any outdoor play
while
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 eating unhealthy snacks as well.
Additionally
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, ready food is widely available anywhere, which is very convenient, especially for those working parents who have no time to cook at home.
For instance
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, just after ,school the schoolers need to eat their lunch and since their mom is working, she will just order fried chicken and french fries from KFC for lunch, which is known that fast foods are fatty, sugary and addictive which promotes gaining weight. Undoubtedly,
this
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 is a clear indication that kids are likely to become obese. In conclusion, it's not true that the majority of
children
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 are obese in Western countries only,
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nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
 it's happening all around the world most young people are facing obesity
due to
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 their lifestyle and diet. On top of that, parents should be responsible for their
children
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's actions by limiting screen time and encouraging them to join sports activities,
as well as
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 teaching them to eat healthy fruits and vegetables in their meals every day.
Submitted by leoriemadeo1287 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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