Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

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It is often said that modern technology makes the population have a better relationship.
However
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, others believe that
people
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have been driven apart. In
this
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essay, I intend to discuss the impact of
this
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issue
as well as
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the various benefits of online platforms. On the one hand, the development of technology has provided a simple communication system for individuals living in foreign countries. In spite of time zone differences,
people
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have the potential to stay in touch through social platforms
such
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as Instagram and Messenger.
As a result
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, they can maintain their special bond from any distance.
For example
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, many international students stay connected with their families and childhood friends through video calls and messages, even if they are thousands of kilometres apart.
By contrast
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, opponents of
this
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view point out that many
people
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have become isolated
due to
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addiction to social media, meaning that its use should be restricted to prevent negative effects on relationships and mental health. The loss of face-to-face interactions has led to more shallow relationships.
For instance
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, many young
people
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spend half of their day on social media, playing video games, and watching content.
As a consequence
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, these activities have replaced parents as role models, leading children to be less likely to obey them. Another argument is that affects
on
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apply
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mental health,
such
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as blurry eyes and headaches.
Overall
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, it seems advisable that modern technology has provided various benefits for maintaining strong relationships despite the distances and time zone difficulties.
However
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, It is essential to strike a balance by limiting screen time.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider making your introduction more engaging by briefly mentioning both viewpoints before stating your intention to discuss them. Also, ensure your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that outlines its main idea. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
coherence and cohesion
In your body paragraphs, try to connect the ideas more explicitly. Use linking words and phrases to show the relationship between different points, such as 'However', 'Furthermore', and 'In addition'.
task achievement
Ensure that every point made is thoroughly explained and supported with evidence or specific examples. For instance, when mentioning mental health impacts, expand on how these directly affect relationships.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences could benefit from smoother transitions. For example, the transition from the first argument to the contrasting viewpoint could be made clearer.
task achievement
You effectively discussed both viewpoints regarding modern technology and relationships, showing an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as international students staying connected with family, which enhances your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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