IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

The plot illustrates the development of Queen Mary Hospital adjacent territory within 1960 and 2000.

#plot #development #queen #mary #territory
The plot illustrates the development of Queen Mary
Hospital
Change noun form
Hospital's
show examples
 adjacent territory
within
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1960 and 2000.
Overall
, a comparison of
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 maps reveals a change from having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one hospital building at the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 to a huge hospital campus. As you can see there had been
majority
Correct article usage
a majority
show examples
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 buildings allocated
aroun
Correct your spelling
around
 the health
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 in 1960. These had been
shopping
Correct article usage
a shopping
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, farmland and parking
lot
Correct quantifier usage
lots
show examples
 with which the clinic had shared the space along
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
maid
Correct your spelling
main
show examples
 road. The most
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
 change
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happened in 1980
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the hospital
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spread
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 departments with full occupation of the territory except the parking lot which remained untouched.
Amoung
Correct your spelling
Among
 the hospital
devisions
Correct your spelling
divisions
decisions
 built, a nursing
school
 building size was large
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
compared to the hospital is about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
size. The second significant swap happened in 2000,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the two
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 were merged and reduced in size by half.
The one
Correct article usage
One
show examples
 of the big
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 in the area provided for
Nursing
Correct article usage
the Nursing
show examples
school
 was merged with a Cancer centre and
becomed
Correct your spelling
became
show examples
 the
largets
Correct your spelling
largest
show examples
buidling
Correct your spelling
building
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the campus
whereas
 the half sector of the parking area was replaced by
Nursing
Add an article
the Nursing
show examples
school
. Nursing
school
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreaed
Correct your spelling
decreased
 by half compared to its dimensions
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1980. There were only
pharmacy
Correct article usage
a pharmacy
show examples
 remained
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 its
Correct your spelling
original
orignal
Correct your spelling
original
 place since one thousand
ninty
Correct your spelling
ninety
nine
 eighties
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: