IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Everyone should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The donation ought to be required for all citizens from part of their salaries.
Although
Linking Words
 it is beneficial to do charities for
people
Use synonyms
 who are in need realistically,it will be arduous to donate to individuals who have insufficient wages.
Charity
Use synonyms
 from all is a useful way for
people
Use synonyms
 who are destitute or who have a major problem with their health.
This
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 category of funding will be helpful to reduce poverty in society.Apart from that individuals who are stuck in a poor lifestyle,can effortlessly get rid of their issues, which leads them to be poor
as well as
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 sick. Providing that the government revealed the principle of
charity
Use synonyms
, a great deal of
people
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 would live a normal life.
For instance
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,
this
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 method was operated in Belgium .
That is
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 to say, a large number of citizens had aided with a financial side ,
subsequently
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,
this
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 was the most suitable approach to decline the percentage of the level of poverty in that phase.
Therefore
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,it is necessary to do funding in order to decrease the number of poor citizens.
In addition
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 ,
people
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 who are ill ,
such
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 as those who are struggling with cancer or other serious diseases, can be provided with sufficient medications or other necessities.
Nevertheless
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, there are a significant amount of benefits for poverty,
whereas
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 individuals’ salaries could be trouble for themselves. Specifically, all humans are not equal, in terms of finance. Everyone can not invariably afford to do so . Namely, the average amount of salary is not always enough to donate to others.
For example
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,
salaries
Correct article usage
the salaries
show examples
 of cleaners are 170 $ and if they donate their money to
charity
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, they could face some financial problems .
Thus
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 it had better to donate something with cravings. In conclusion, whilst some individuals are able to do
charity
Use synonyms
, others might not do
likewise
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. As far as I am concerned the donations should be made by
people
Use synonyms
 who desire to do so.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, but ensure that it is more concise and directly addresses the topic. Try to avoid overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Improve your coherence by using more cohesive devices and linking phrases between ideas, such as 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' and 'consequently'. This will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
The main points are generally clear, but ensure that each paragraph stays focused on a single idea. For instance, dedicate one paragraph to discussing the benefits of mandatory donations and another to discussing the difficulties they might present.
task achievement
You clearly articulated the potential benefits of mandatory donations with relevant examples, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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