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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write atleast 250 words.

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development #atleast
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The invention of smartphones was one of the greatest things that happened in the 20th century
however
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, nowadays children have started spending too many hours on these gadgets.
This
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 essay will explain why
this
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 is happening and how it is proving to be harmful to them. Today children are born into a technological era
therefore
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 we can't exclude smartphones from their lives. In my view usage of smartphones will negatively affect the mental health of children and I believe their use of Social media on these gadgets is to avoid face-to-face interactions, anxiety, stress, and responsibilities.
Additionally
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, their physical health is
also
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 affected because their involvement with these devices is making them sedentary, leading to bad posture, obesity, early onset diabetes and other urban diseases.
Hence
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,
it is clear that
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 unless
this
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 development is stemmed young people will have long-term problems. An explanation of the above points is found in a study by a School of Medicine in California of 100 youngsters aged between 10 to 25 which showed that 70% of them use their phones for more than 2 hours per day. The study concluded that students with
such
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 extended screen times are more likely to be in a depressed state when compared to students who do not.
Additionally
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, a casual scan of newspapers shows that the number of little ones with eye and obesity problems has doubled in the
last
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 decade, which is contemporary with programming for kids on these gadgets
Finally
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, we can conclude that the reason why young people spend hours gazing at smart screens is
due to
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 targeted programming aimed at them by social media, which studies have shown to be detrimental.
Hence
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, using these devices for more than one hour per day should be restricted by parents and adults in the community.
Submitted by Leena Kapoor on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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