IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Every year several language die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Yearly, some
languages
Use synonyms
 are destroyed. Some
people
Use synonyms
 say it is not crucial because they can have an easier life if there are fewer
languages
Use synonyms
 in our
world
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and
this
Linking Words
 essay will argue that the
world
Use synonyms
 become better for
people
Use synonyms
,
due to
Linking Words
 communication and the development of economics.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, fewer words can be more beneficial for our communication. It means that, when fewer
languages
Use synonyms
 are life in the
world
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 can learn all of them,
therefore
Linking Words
 they can make a good contribution to others.
For example
Linking Words
, if in universal just 2
languages
Use synonyms
 exist, folk will learn both of them,
thus
Linking Words
 they can have a better interaction with all
people
Use synonyms
 throughout the
world
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, populations could have a stronger connection with each other.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the government can improve their economy. It means, companies can develop their businesses by employing many folks from all over the
world
Use synonyms
. Plus, the population can send their request to many companies to get a job, because they understand them, and can able to talk with them and show their powers.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a person is able to talk with all the
people
Use synonyms
 in the environment, he (she) has enormous opportunities to get a higher job,
therefore
Linking Words
 it can be the most important profit for the companies, and develop their trade, and
as a result
Linking Words
, it could assist them increasing the economic situation in any countries. In conclusion, fewer
languages
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
 could be more profitable for both the countries and the communities,
due to
Linking Words
 the better impact on the connection between the
people
Use synonyms
, and improve the economics of the countries.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure and flow of your essay. Some sentences are awkwardly worded and can be clarified for better understanding.
task achievement
Include more specific and relevant examples to support your points more effectively. This will add depth and make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Focus on using more precise vocabulary and varied sentence structures to express your ideas clearly and comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument nicely.
task achievement
You’ve addressed both aspects of the question, discussing the impact on communication as well as economic development.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay makes it easy to follow your argument from one point to the next.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: