The government must ensure that citizens have a healthy diet, while others think this is an individuals' duty. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
argue that governments should take responsibility for ensuring citizens maintain a healthy diet.
Whereas
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some believe that individuals must take responsibility for their own health. In my opinion, I believe the authority plays a crucial role in shaping healthier choices through policy and education. One way that the government can contribute is by establishing policies.
For instance
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, some governments apply taxes on unhealthy products
such
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as sugary drinks
,
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apply
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and food high in saturated fats and sodium , making them less accessible.
Additionally
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, regulations can restrict the sale of processed items like hot dogs and candies, especially in schools and supermarkets. Public health campaigns can
also
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educate citizens about the risks of poor nutrition,
such
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as obesity, heart disease, and diabetes. These policies help create an environment where healthier options are easier and more affordable for everyone.
On the other hand
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, individuals
also
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play a vital role in maintaining their own health through informed decision-making. Despite public awareness, many struggle to adopt healthy eating habits
due to
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powerful advertising,
as well as
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the high cost of nutritious foods. Even when
people
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try to make better choices, they may feel that healthy food is too expensive or hard to find. Some
also
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believe that it’s okay to enjoy unhealthy food sometimes, as long as they keep a balance. So,
while
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personal effort is important, some need support to make good decisions. In conclusion, both the government and individuals have a role in promoting healthy eating.
Although
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people
Use synonyms
must make their own choices, government rules and education can guide them in the right direction. If both sides work together, more
people
Use synonyms
will be able to follow a healthy diet and live better lives.

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task achievement
Make sure to give more specific examples to support your points. This will make your ideas stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. This will help the reader follow your thoughts better.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that restate your main ideas effectively.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is a strong point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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