IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities, for example helping at home and work. Others believe that outside of school, children should free to enjoy their life. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #children #ages #responsibilities #home #work #school #life
Few individuals consider that offspring of all ages should have more responsibilities
likewise
 helping at home and jobs.
While
 others argued that outside of school, children need to be free and enjoy their
life
. In my opinion, there are numerous advantages for adolescents to have more responsibilities. I will discuss both views before going to a logical judgement in the impending paragraphs.
To begin
 with, there are various merits for youngsters to do work
along with
 their studies. First and foremost, they can easily make decisions about their future goals. The reason for
this
 is that if offsprings have responsibilities at the previous age, they might not face any problems in making future plans. Youngsters can not only become more responsible but
also
 gain the confidence to be independent.
Moreover
, children became more creative to do their tasks.
This
 is because if they will do other types of work
along with
 their education, they might be able to improve their skills
such
 as cooking, communicating and corporation.
Therefore
, youngsters will become successful in their
life
 and achieve their goals as they will earn some money by working and they are able to manage their financial budgets.
For example
, 45% of Chinese adults are successful in their
life
 because they are capable to become more responsible
along with
 their studies. As they can easily make the right decision about things and works.
Hence
, it is apparent why many are in favour of
this
 notion.
On the other hand
, some masses believe that children should enjoy their
life
 outside of institutes. First of all, they can suffer from depression and stress.
According to
 them, the academic pressure of subjects is very high on the offspring. If they have to do extra work
along with
 their academic courses, they will suffer from mental issues
such
 as anxiety and stress.
As a result
, they may not be able to achieve their goals. In view of the arguments outlined above, one can conclude
although
 teenagers can suffer from depression, owing to they are more creative and able to make the right decisions.
Submitted by amanjotkaur532 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: