Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

It is often said that advertising is becoming too ubiquitous and
as a result
consumers start to lose interest in it. In my opinion,
however
, I believe that it is good at drawing customers’ attention to purchase more products. On the one hand, the existence of advertisements is
giving
Verb problem
causing
show examples
boredom to the public
due to
the deficiency in creative content. To be more specific, people are bombarded with thousands of ads claiming that their products are the most innovative compared to other brands.
For example
, every international school in Vietnam emphasizes the idea that their teaching resources are well-adapted to the learning environment. Marketers should
instead
promote novel ideas to stand out from the competition rather than repeating the same lines again.
Consequently
, parents are not interested in that information, which prevents them from watching the whole ad.
On the other hand
, advertisers are very good at influencing consumers’ buying decisions. A good example of
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
is Amazon. Recently, people have had a tendency to know more about their health and well-being. Noticing
this
trend, Amazon unveiled the screenless health-tracking bracelet in 2020. The device could measure users’ body fat, and emotional states, and provide digital assistance if necessary. By targeting the demands of the buyers, the brand boosted its strength in the market and attracted a greater number of customers, making it one of the top-selling brands during that period. In conclusion, even though advertising is getting more tedious on account of its lack of content, I believe that it is still very effective
to boost
Change preposition
in boosting
show examples
revenue and
attract
Wrong verb form
attracting
show examples
more people.
Submitted by phamduchien711 on

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task response
The opinion is clear, but it would be beneficial to provide a more balanced presentation of both views. Ensure that each paragraph relates directly to the essay question and that all examples contribute directly to the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to the overall structure. However, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically connected throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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