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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #punishments #offences #traffic #accidents #measures #road #safety
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Over the past few decades, people’s perspectives on the penalty for driving offences have shown divergence. With the rise in traffic
accidents
, the question of whether strict punishments are the most effective approach to curbing these incidents has become a matter of considerable debate.
Although
 some argue that stern penalties could significantly decrease the rate of traffic
accidents
, I believe that there are more practical ways to address
this
 issue. On one hand, proponents of stringent penalties assert that harsh consequences act as a powerful deterrent. When drivers are aware that severe fines, license suspensions, or even imprisonment could result from reckless
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, they are more likely to adhere to traffic laws.
For example
, countries with tough drunk driving laws often see lower rates of alcohol-related
accidents
. Strict enforcement of
such
 laws can
instill
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instil
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 a sense of accountability and caution among drivers, thereby reducing the likelihood of dangerous driving practices.
On the other hand
, many argue that there are more effective ways to promote
road
 safety than imposing strict punishments. One significant measure is improving
road
 infrastructure. Better
road
 design, clearer signage, and adequate lighting can prevent
accidents
 by providing safer driving conditions.
Additionally
, public education campaigns can raise awareness about safe driving practices.
For instance
, teaching new drivers about the dangers of speeding, distracted driving, and the importance of seatbelts through comprehensive driving courses can lead to more responsible
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 on the roads. For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that
while
 strict punishments can certainly deter some dangerous
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, a multifaceted approach is likely to be more effective. Combining punitive measures with improvements in
road
 infrastructure and educational initiatives addresses the issue from multiple angles, thereby fostering a culture of safety.
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task achievement
Your essay thoroughly addresses the task of discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, incorporating more specific examples, such as statistics or case studies, could strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Maintain your logical structure, as you have successfully organized your essay into clear paragraphs with a good flow of ideas. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss each viewpoint, and a conclusion that effectively summarizes your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • repeat offenses
  • infrastructure improvements
  • public awareness campaigns
  • reckless driving
  • traffic management technologies
  • intelligent traffic lights
  • speed cameras
  • public transportation
  • minimize
  • enhance safety
  • allocate funds
  • road signs
  • road safety
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